Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
