all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
