It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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