the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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