i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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