Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
