what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize