I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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