no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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