Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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