after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
