So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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