All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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