I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
