Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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