How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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