My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
But break dance skills will only take you so far
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
