I wanna passion pit in your ass
I've blown a few things in my day
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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