ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
