is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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