it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
