connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize