My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize