I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
