So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
