So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
