Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i wish my penis had a tongue
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
foreskin is a definite game changer
NoShamevember. You game?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize