We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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