Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
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