im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
