I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
