you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
