I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
