Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
