you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
