at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
