But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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