Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I am never drinking with the goths again.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
