apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
