Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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