i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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