alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
