the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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