Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
