We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
