Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
