summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
