Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
