drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize