I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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