It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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