so that wasnt chicken after all
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
