Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
