If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
