My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize