New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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