Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
