we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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