I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
